Recover from Break-Ups and Toxic Relationships
Online across the U.K., Europe & USA
Jane Pendry
DSFH, HPD; Reg CNHC, AfSFH, MNCH, ABNLP, ABH, IARTT; BA Hons (London), PGCE (Cantab). ThreeBestRated Hypnotherapist, Oxford
To find out if you are ready for Solution Focused approaches please scroll down to the bottom of the page to ‘Are Solution Focused approaches right for you?’
Lions live in ‘family’ units called a pride. They form close social bonds, hunting and raising cubs together, and grooming each other.- Photo (c) Unsplash David Clode -
Resolving past traumas; rebuild your future
Recover from a difficult break-up, separation, divorce, or even redundancy, with Solution Focused Hypnotherapy & Rewind Trauma Therapy.
Overcome self-limiting beliefs, self-esteem issues and trauma resulting from damaging past relationships. Uncover your authentic values, beliefs and motivations, and imagine and create a healthier, flourishing future, step-by-step.
Change patterns of behaviour or bad habits. Gain confidence and self-worth.
Recover from the disappointment and feelings of rejection that often accompany the ending of personal or professional relationships, and start to rebuild your life.
Resolve past traumas that resulted from from coercive control, gaslighting, intimidation, bullying and abuse in the past.
Before starting Sense-Ability therapy, it is essential to be physically and emotionally safe. Clients who benefit most are those that have already undertaken counselling or psychotherapy and are ‘all talked out’ and ready to rebuild their lives again.
Are Solution Focused approaches right for you?
Jane will accept your assessment of the break-up situation and aims to help you move forward from where you are now without delving into the past too much.
When you are all talked out?
Solution Focused approaches are ideal for clients who have already had counselling or traditional talking therapy, or who are thoroughly all talked out with friends and family. Recovering from toxic relationships includes getting over bullying at work (manager or colleague), sibling and family relationships, and break-ups with intimate partners.
We can discuss whether you are ready for a more Solution Focused approach in our initial informal exploratory consultation.
When you still need to talk about what has happened
If you still need to explore the past, analyse and explain what went wrong in your relationship, that’s an important part of any healing journey.
Being fully heard, believed and validated are essential first steps to healing. Traditional talking therapies might be more helpful in the first instance.
Jane Pendry will listen, respect, value and validate your experience, but Solution Focused approaches are more about changing your thinking, actions and reactions with somatic approaches and focus more on now and the future, than the past. You’ll instinctively know if that’s the right approach for you right now.
Narcissistic abuse and living with personality disorders
Where there has been a pattern of narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, coercive control or bullying over many years (maybe many relationships), it’s important firstly to seek physical safety and to contact appropriate local charities and social services in your area.
Healing from such long term abuse is lightly to be a considerably longer journey requiring different help and support at different stages of the healing process.
Here are some useful reputable links to help you explore where you are right now and to help you think through the support you need.
Domestic Abuse
The Freedom Programme is an excellent free course for survivors of domestic violence.
Women’s Aid provides essential support and advice on domestic abuse and ManKind provides a similar service for male victims.
Coercive Control
Abuse is not always physical of course. To understand more about coercive control this Women’s Aid article explains what coercive control is and the impact it has. Men can, of course, also be victims of coercive control.
Narcissistic Abuse
To find out more about narcissistic abuse, Clinical Psychologist, Christine Louis de Canonville, has developed this useful resource: https://narcissisticbehavior.net/about-me/
For absolute clarity about narcissistic behaviour, Life Coach Richard Grannon’s YouTube videos illustrate and explain narcissistic abuse with great examples and, in some cases, role play,
To understand the effects of narcissistic abuse, this article by Very Well Mind is an excellent summary.
Erin Heger in Inside Reviews provides another useful summary about narcissistic abuse and it’s impact.
To understand the subtle, and not so subtle, tactics of narcissistic abusers this MedCircle article summarises them very succinctly.
Toxic Parents
If you are an adult recovering from toxic parenting then that is also likely to be a long journey. I would usually see people when they are fully aware of the dynamics and destructive patterns in their relationships with their parents, can name them, and are now ready to break the cycles. Again counselling and talking therapy can be very helpful first steps in processing and understanding destructive dynamics with parents, or indeed siblings and grand-parents, or former carers.
Here’s a useful article called Toxic Patents: How to Manage Them on The WebMD site.
This is a great and balanced piece (that has been medically reviewed) in PsychCentral about setting and maintaining boundaries with parents. It makes it clear the relationship and the boundaries work both ways.
Do your own reading and research looking for articles on reputable medical and psychology sites written by trained and accredited therapists, or reputable journalists. Once you feel you’ve digested, accepted and processed your experiences, and feel stuck but ready to move on, that’s the time to get in touch for an initial free exploratory consultation with Jane Pendry at Sense-Ability approaches.
If you are in danger
If you are currently in danger from, or being controlled by, an abusive partner you may need more direct financial, emotional and practical support. A good starting point is this NHS page on getting help for domestic violence.
Jane Pendry
DSFH, HPD; Reg CNHC, AfSFH, MNCH, ABNLP, ABH, IARTT; BA Hons (London), PGCE (Cantab)
Sense-Ability Hypnotherapy & Coaching
jane@sense-ability.co.uk
+44 (0) 7843 813 883
www.sense-ability.co.uk
Online across the UK, Europe & USA